They Touched The Stove

Hey, remember last month when I talked about the rumored split of Warner Bros Discovery and how I'd think it would go down even though I had doubts it would happen?

Well, it's no longer a rumor. It's happening, and yeah, it's not going down like I hoped it would.


You remember when you were a child, you were told to not touch a hot stove because it would burn you and hurt you? Hopefully, you weren't one of those kids who decided to touch it anyway. If you did, I hope you learned your lesson and never did it again. 

Unless you're a weirdo who loved the pain and the scent of burning flesh. The C-suite of the soon-to-be-divided Warner Bros Discovery are apparently these kinds of weirdos.

So... what's the breakdown?

  • Warner Bros is cutting off Discovery. And the Turner channels, including CNN. And Bleacher Report.  
  • They're keeping TNT Sports globally but getting rid of it domestically. As I said, sports is big business around the world, so the Streaming/Studios company will keep that international market while the Global Networks unit will maintain the domestic market, which is weird, right?
  • 20% of the Global Networks spinoff will continue to be owned by Streaming/Studios unit
  • Oh, and the debt that everybody LOVES to blame for the problems at Warner Bros Discovery? The Global Networks spinoff inherits most of that.
Basically, what does today's split announcement means?

Simply put, this:


Is now, or rather, will become this:

All the studio assets and libraries will be with the Streaming & Studios unit, which in all likelihood will probably just be renamed Warner Bros.

All the non-premium networks not currently under Warner Bros Entertainment will be in the Global Networks unit, which in all likelihood will NOT be called Global Networks. Much like Spinco was for NBC Universal's upcoming Versant spinoff, Global Networks is a placeholder name since Global Networks is currently the name of the division of WBD those units in.

But let's be honest.

None of this should be surprising to anyone, especially if you've been paying attention. 

Losing the NBA, which I may remind you was a self-inflicted injury, was the final nail in this company's interest in linear cable. Heck, during the investor call, David Zaslav said that sports was less of a priority domestically, but they're still going to air it on HBO Max. 

The new Gumball series airing domestically on Hulu but on Cartoon Network throughout the world should have been another clue. Cartoon Network isn't really a priority either, at least on the domestic side. There's more value in the library and franchises, which the Streaming & Studios unit will keep.  

When MAX decided to rebrand itself back to HBO Max, the Discovery content, which was the main reason for the initial name change to MAX in the first place, was rather low-key. The whole purpose of the WarnerMedia/Discovery merger was built around the potential of the Discovery networks and the WB brands. Now, the Streaming & Studios side will keep the shows and library but split off the Discovery networks AND Discovery+. 

They're literally cutting off the Discovery from Warner Bros Discovery.

It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad.

They're spinning the split as if it's a good thing, throwing around terms like "cash flow" and "growth opportunities." If there was actually a "cash flow" or "growth opportunities," they wouldn't split them from the rest of the company. WBD is following the same trends that began with the aforementioned Versant split from NBC Universal and STARZ spinning off Lionsgate (yes, that's what happened, not the reverse). There are rumors of Paramount possibly doing the same with its cable networks once the Skydance merger actually becomes reality, and I wouldn't be surprised if Disney does likewise. 

Golly, all of these cable-specific units out there kind of makes you think linear cable is a bad business to be in, doesn't it?

With the rumored split finally becoming a reality, there's only one question to ask:

What comes next?

At the time of this writing (June 9, 2025), no one really knows. Not even the C-suite who signed off on this split. Nobody knows what the final version of the two companies will really look like, but one thing is abundantly clear: the merger of WarnerMedia and Discovery was a disaster and a waste of money and resources that destroyed not only the credibility of a once-venerable media company but also fostered and embodied an anti-creative mindset throughout an entire industry. 

And the face of that mindset is now poised to sit pretty on a rebuilt throne of that company, tossing away the unit he brought with him and enjoying the scent of his burnt flesh after touching the stove.

Awesome, wow.



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